


Good Advice

by misura



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Tell her she has lovely eyes," Thor says, with that expression on his face he always gets when he thinks he is </i>not<i> being struck by a sudden urge to spout a piece of the purest idiocy.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Advice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raktajinos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raktajinos/gifts).



"Tell her she has lovely eyes," Thor says, with that expression on his face he always gets when he thinks he is _not_ being struck by a sudden urge to spout a piece of the purest idiocy.

"Tell who?" Loki asks, because two can play at this game - and even if it's not one of Loki's more favorite games, it's still something to do, something to distract him.

"The Lady Sif," Thor says, as if this is self-evident. (Which Loki supposes it is, even if he had half-hoped and half-feared Thor would still manage not to notice.) "It is obvious you are taken with her."

"Yes?" As far as Loki knows, Thor has never courted a woman in his life. Nor a man, for that matter.

A less generous person might wonder why Thor would believe he has any advice to offer on the subject. A person who knows Thor as well as Loki does would know it's because Thor imagines himself to be an expert on a great many subjects he knows, in fact, nothing whatsoever about.

Being Odin's son simply means that most people are too intimidated to tell him he's wrong.

"Very obvious." Thor grins broadly. It's a rather annoying sight. "Come now, brother. Are you shy?"

"Well," Loki demurs, looking away before he does something regrettable that would leave him with a lot of broken furniture and possibly a headache. "She _is_ a rather fierce warrior, is she not?"

"Bah," Thor says dismissively, and for a moment, Loki almost decides the hassle of starting a fight he's not going to win might be worth it. "You fear giving offense?"

No slur on the lady's fierceness, then; merely a scoff at Loki's perceived lack of willingness to risk physical harm by pressing a potentially unwelcome suit.

"Surely not." There are a number of things Loki worries about, but this isn't one of them.

"Then tell her," Thor presses. "Use that honeyed tongue of yours."

"Shall I turn her head with all the pretty words I have learned, brother?" There are spells, magical words to make a person think themselves in love. Loki would never consider using them on Sif.

In some games, cheating is just another word for losing, and Loki doesn't like to lose. (In other games, clearly, cheating is simply another word for playing more intelligently than one's opponents.)

Thor scowls. "Just speak to her of your feelings. Your admiration. Speak plainly, and honestly."

"My admiration for her lovely eyes." He's watched them during a bout of chess. They are bright, and shiny, and clever, Sif's eyes, much like the lady herself.

"You are being difficult." Thor sounds exasperated. "It was just an example."

"I'm confused. First, you tell me to use empty flattery, then, to only speak unvarnished truth."

"The flattery is not empty when the heart is involved," Thor says. "It's truth. Although I grant you, in the case of Sif, you may be better off complimenting her warrior's skills."

"Hm." On occasion, Loki wishes Thor were more consistent in his idiocy. "Could she ever defeat you, do you think?"

"Surely," Thor says, surprising Loki again, right until he adds: "Although not, of course, so long as I hold the hammer," which more or less changes his answer into the 'never' Loki was expecting to begin with.

"Of course not."

"I shall speak with her, if you wish." Thor's tone makes it clear he considers this a very generous offer.

Loki decides not to bother hiding his wince at _that_ particular bright idea. "Please don't."

"It would be no trouble at all," Thor assures him.

"No," Loki says. No, he's sure it wouldn't be any trouble. And no, he does not want Thor to do him this particular 'favor'. " _Thank_ you."

"I shall be subtle. Not one word of your affection shall pass these lips. A simple inquiry only, to see the lay of the land."

Loki glares. He may not be the musclebound giant Thor is, but people still know to fear him, especially when his temper turns hot.

Thor, alas, will never be one of those people. He just laughs, a loud and joyous sound. "Forgive me, brother. It is just that chances to tease you are few and far in between. I'll respect your wishes. Naturally. Just know that my aid is yours, should you desire it in this noble undertaking."

"Thank you, brother. That makes me feel so much better." Loki wonders what kind of 'aid' Thor imagines he might provide. Perhaps Loki could ask him to pick a fight with someone, claiming it for a 'necessary distraction'. (Disadvantage: with Sif present, she would surely be much more likely to join in the fighting than to stay put and hear Loki's words.)

"Good," Thor says, clearly blissfully oblivious to Loki's sarcasm. "I shall leave you to your thoughts now."

"You're too kind."

"Only remember, brother, that mere wishful thinking never won a fair maiden's heart."

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind."


End file.
